Blackmoor Vituperative

I have been so busy with the house fiasco and work, I haven’t been feeding my fish as often as I should. Two of my larger fish are missing, and there are suspicious remains in the back of the aquarium. Apparently, even a normally placid fish will eat its brethren when it gets hungry enough.

They are the 99%.

My black Swingline stapler broke a week ago, and I finally got around to buying a new one today. When I got home and was looking at the packaging, I noticed that it had a limited lifetime warranty. Wondering if my old stapler was also under warranty, I called the 800 number on the package.

After navigating through the menu, I finally reached a human being: a young woman, judging by her voice.

“ACCO Brands customer service. How may I help you?”

“Hi. I have a Swingline stapler, and it broke, and I was wondering if it was covered under warranty.”

“What is the model of the stapler?”

“It says Model 646 on the bottom.”

“And how long have you owned the stapler?”

“About fifteen years.”

… pause …

“Are you serious?”

“Yes, I am being serious.”

… pause …

“Okay… I think the warranty on that is one year, but let me check… Ah. That has a lifetime warranty. We will send you a new stapler. May I have your address?”

So I gave her my address, and she said the stapler should arrive in seven to ten days.

Now that’s a warranty.

I woke up at 05:45 this morning, and like yesterday, I spent the first hour of my day trying to go back to sleep, and hating the house we will be buying.

We close on January 12. I keep hoping that something will go wrong and we can walk away from it. I hate this house. I have hated it since the day I first saw the inside of it, back in June. I hate it more every time I step inside it. So why are we buying it? Firstly, because it’s closer to where Susan works. She has been driving an hour each way to work for the past couple of years, and that just sucks. I wouldn’t do it: she should not have to. This house is something like 15 minutes from where she works. Secondly, it’s a decent deal. We are getting it for $251,000, and it appraises for $265,000. Of course, after we spend $100,000 remodeling it (and we will: it’s a nightmare), it will still only be worth $265,000, and I will still hate it, but hopefully I will hate it a little less.

But the main reason we are buying this is because we have to buy something. We have been renting for the past six years, which is just throwing money away. Even if we sink $100,000 more into remodeling this house I hate and then sell it in ten years and lose money on it (and we will: I guarantee it), we would lose even more by renting for another ten years.

If we are going to spend $350,000 on it anyway, why not buy a house that costs that much: one that I actually like? We have seen several such houses. Because there is a difference between a $251,000 mortgage and planning to spend $100,000 on remodeling, and having a $351,000 mortgage. If money gets tight, we can choose not to remodel. If we have a mortgage payment to make, we lose that option. A $351,000 mortgage would stretch our budget to the point where even the slightest disruption would put us in the red. We would be completely unprepared for even minor emergencies, much less something catastrophic. It would be irresponsible to put ourselves in that position for the next 20 or 30 years.

That’s what I have to keep telling myself.

So I wake up each morning, hating this house, and reminding myself why buying it is the sensible thing to do.

For the first time in a very long time, I got a good night’s sleep and woke up refreshed on New Year’s Day. I woke up late, but not hung over. The party at Mike & Rob’s was fun. I enjoyed the hospitality and the company. However, if I was a bore or a boor, I have only myself to blame, as I only had two glasses of wine all night.

I am not done writing Bulletproof Blues, which is disappointing. I’d hoped to have the text done by now, and be working on the layout. I am not in panic mode yet. As long as it’s done and up for sale on DriveThruRPG by Mysticon in February, I’ll be happy.

I am a little worried about when I’ll be able to play after we move, though. I game rarely enough as it is. Once we relocate to Charlottesville, I’ll be at least an hour away from any gamers I know — or, indeed, from anyone I know, other than my sweetheart. Kind of a bummer, that.

On the bright side, I have recovered from the horrific food poisoning I got at Carytown Sushi on Wednesday. I am actually hungry for the first time in four days.