I am contemplating writing a script to generate headlines for the news. Each day, it will randomly choose three of these:
[random number] dead and [random number] injured in mass shooting
Republicans in [random state] propose legislation to prevent off-white people from voting
[movie industry person #1] reveals that [movie industry person #2] was a jerk to them
[random number] dead and [2x random number] injured in mass shooting
Senate Republicans [random traitorous act]
[random country] extends state of emergency due to the pandemic
Republicans in [random state] propose legislation to deprive poor people of what little government support they still get
[music industry person] says something obnoxious and stupid
[2x random number] dead and [random number] injured in mass shooting
Republicans in [random state] stage protest against literally anything that might shorten the pandemic
Warner Brothers releases a new superhero movie, which earns hundreds of millions despite being terrible
Scientists say that the world is warming faster than anyone predicted, but there is still time to do something about it
[random Republican] compares a minor inconvenience to being a Jew in Nazi Germany