Blackmoor Vituperative

If you are ever in a movie:

• Don’t mock the locals.
• Do not touch your ear when speaking on your HANDS-FREE earpierce.
• When sneaking, do not walk like a tap-dancing hunchback. It does not make you harder to see or hear.
• Do not send five people into obviously deadly danger to rescue one person. Four of them will die, along with the person you wanted to save.
• If someone asks who else you’ve told, say “I think it would be safer not to discuss that”. It’s not a lie. Also, they’re the villain.
• Always take the weapon with you.
• When the serial killer threatens to kill someone to force your cooperation, shoot them, right then. Don’t talk. Just shoot them. Immediately.
• Don’t stop attacking the villain until they stop breathing.
• Cut the villain’s head off immediately. Kick it away from the body.

Consider printing this out and carrying it with you, just in case.